My 30 year high school reunion is rapidly approaching. I won’t be attending this event. I live three states away. Granted , financial limitations aside, it is unlikely that I would have attended. There are certainly some hugs and smiles I would love to see again. Unfortunately, the amount of people that I have little use for outnumbers the people I miss.
I know a lot of years have passed since those teenage days I still keep in contact with some classmates through various social media platforms. All of us have been through a lifetime of peaks and valleys. Hopefully we’re all wiser. Most of us are several extra pounds into middle age. Metabolism is a bitch, but food tastes better when you’re older. Some of my social media friends weren’t necessarily my chums but I remember them as good folks. Many of them are friends of some of my closest friends so cool by proxy works. These folks are still fundamentally the same people inside. This naturally leads me to believe that most of the people who were, shall we say, less than engaging, are most likely the same at their core.
There were folks who looked for the weaker people to torment . Do they still have that element dwelling within them ?
Some people cast aside their childhood friends once they attained a certain level of cliquish popularity in the high school hierarchy. A simple, “Hello” to their old 3rd grade friends would have lowered their social standing with their peers. Do these people still have this cutthroat social ladder climbing mentality?
Some students had their entire high school memories tarnished by loose tongues. Rumor mill kings and queens who made life a living hell for people by spreading lies or half truths. Do they still try to viciously destroy people ?
I won’t even get into the memories of high school heartbreak . Who was using who and the twisted head games that were being played is another story. Hearts and hormones were being slung around like a yo yo back then. What a twisted wreck.
As high school progressed I noticed some of the people that were gaining popularity were some of the biggest bullies in junior high school. It seemed as though, for some, being a complete douche in junior high school was a major stepping stone on the path of achieving a higher social standing high school.
Certainly people can change. We should have a spirit of forgiveness. We don’t have to forget. “Forgive and forget” is one of the most overused clichés. It is often misquoted as a direct biblical teaching. Forgiveness is far different from forgetting. It is also mentally impossible to forget. Some of these things are impossible to forget because some of the hurt that lingered for years . The perpetrators casually moved on without the mental baggage that they dumped on others.
What if a small percentage of these people did indeed had an epiphany regarding their boorish teenage behavior and arrogance? Would a reunion be the place to hear their apology ? Some people would have to spend the entire reunion apologizing. I sincerely believe that many of these people are totally clueless regarding how they affected others. Are they raising their children to be the next generation of arrogant , gossipy, elitists with bad memories ?
I can’t fathom myself standing there pretending someone wasn’t a complete jerk. I have had to do that for too many years in the corporate world. At least in the corporate world I was getting a paycheck. That, in and of itself, always helped prevent me staring directly at someone with that , “You are completely clueless” look.
Is it wrong to still have these negative feelings this many years later? Perhaps it is. As I stated earlier, I won’t have to face the decision of going or not going because it is financially impossible. I do enjoy reading some of the social media posts from friends that are excited for this event. One of my friends (who still has one of the most engaging smiles in the world) is working super hard to ensure this is an awesome event. I hope it is a grand success and everyone has an amazing time.
Understand that I am not saying every single person who was near the top of the high school food chain was a terrible child. There were plenty of kids I didn’t know in our blackboard jungle. Maybe I was part of the best student body in the world and didn’t realize it. Yes we were all kids. None of our groups were exempt from having rouge people that were jerks. For more information on the subject please revisit the book (or see the movie) “The Outsiders”.
Perhaps I am the only one that still gets riled up when I think about some aspects of those days, I don’t necessarily carry these things with me every single day, but I do feel that , logically speaking, there are things in everyone’s past that leave subconscious impressions that affect us throughout our lives.
There are many amazing people I wish I could see again. My special combination of high school friends who were (mostly) a varied collection of rockers, choir kids and geeks. I would like to thank those people for the memories. I am happy that many of us are still in touch.
Until the next time I spew out some more thoughts just take Johnny Cade’s words to heart and stay gold.
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