Money doesn’t buy happiness. Money isn’t everything. While I agree with the general sentiment of these expressions, people should be careful when applying these sayings to acquaintances, friends or in some cases, the people they love. Many of us are motivated by something completely different.
We appear to be putting work first. In reality, we are putting our family first. We don’t take the extra shift for the fun of it. We take the extra shift because it will pay one more bill. We may work longer to show that we are worthy of a promotion. We might also live in constant fear of losing our job or being replaced by someone who is younger or cheaper to employ.
It’s Not Wealth
Most of us aren’t working to accumulate wealth. We are simply trying to survive. The dollar keeps the lights on. The dollar is the firewood that keeps the house warm. The dollar funds the water that quenches our thirst. The dollar is the new weapon we use to hunt for food. The dollar keeps the foreclosure reaper at bay.
There is never enough money to go around. We have to make unwise long term decisions in order to provide for our family today. We put groceries on credit cards because we need food now. It really doesn’t matter if it will take a hundred years to pay off that card. Tomorrow is not today. Some of us are underwater on our home mortgages. We don’t have enough equity to refinance. Even if we do have the equity, refinancing is just another form of punting today’s problems into another couple of decades. The rainy day funds have been used. The fear of some new disaster hovers over our heads. Many of us are still trying to pay off the last calamity we endured.
Variable Dollars
Some of us are self employed. Some of us work on commission. The next paycheck is a variable. There is no guaranteed money. We have to think about how we can improve our income. We don’t know where the next dollar is coming from, but we know how many dollars we need. Forgive us if we are listening for sales leads in our conversations. We are simply listening for an opportunity to pay another bill that is past due.
All of us bear the emotional weight of trying to smile through uncertainty. If we forget to listen to a current discussion please forgive us. We might be peering into the future wondering what we are going to do about the next wave of bills. Some of us live in fear of reliving the feeling of failure that occurred the last time we came home to our family as a newly unemployed member of society. Whether our termination was warranted hardly matters when we feel the burden of failure because our families are in peril.
Our Children
The hugs of our children and the crayon Picasso masterworks they draw give us a reprieve from the fiscal storm that is always swirling around us. We long for childhood innocence. We smile until we open the new stack of mail. Sometimes we simply avoid the mail all together because we know what the envelopes contain.
We feel a sense of loss. We didn’t fully listen to every story about the latest crush. We don’t remember the names of all the classmates. We can never go back in time and see all of the choir shows we missed. There were countless times we planned to go the next game then we ran out of seasons. We wanted to go see the scholastic competition that was out of town. Now there are no more competitions. We might not have been the parents we should have been but we were being best parents we knew how to be.
Worlds Apart
We want to do more but we are mentally and physically drained. We have two distinctly different worlds. The world outside of the house destroys us. We know more about what happens at work than what happens in our home because we are mental zombies walking towards the living room. We need our favorite chair and some time with whatever our coping device might be. We try to be supportive spouses yet we know we don’t provide enough support.
We know that we have no one to blame but ourselves for many of our circumstances. Years of decisions created our current state. We can’t change what got us here. We only know we are here. Some of us have two jobs while others are contemplating additional jobs. How many hours of sleep do we truly need in a day? We love our families. We can’t let them fall on hard times. That’s why we spend so much time chasing the dollar. Unfortunately it is all we do because the bills keep coming.
Risk Takers
Some of us have one more dream to pursue. Maybe one more extra “side job” or some new idea that might lead to a brighter future. Hopefully many of us will see one of these crazy risks pay off. Some are still recovering from the last great idea that didn’t work out. Some of us simply can’t risk losing even more by trying a new “out of the box” venture.
The problem with pursuing any risky idea is we take our whole family with us. We either set them up for success or we drive the whole thing off cliff while we listen to them screaming behind us on the way down as we head toward the final impact that lies in the valley below. Are they foolish for following us ? Are we brave for trying to lead them in a new endeavor? It all boils down the the latest “Profit and Loss” report.
Take Your TIme
I hope the people who achieve financial security for their families will take the vacations they have been putting off. I hope they will start taking the date nights they daydream about. I hope they go to every dance recital, game and scholastic event still on the calendar. I hope they will let their employees do the same because they know it is the right thing to do.
Money can’t buy happiness. Happiness can’t buy anything. Smiles won’t pay for diapers, fill the gas tank or fill prescription we need. If I have written something tonight that hits close to home take a deep breath. Let’s get through the next 24 hours.
Let’s pray for another day. Let’s pray for the health of those that we love. Maybe one of us will catch that good leprechaun that will grant us some wishes. Please don’t try to take his gold. He’s earned it. Maybe he can repair the hole in your favorite pair of sneakers or craft some new walking shoes for your children. Just remember the other kind of leprechaun is out there too.
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