Parental Alienation Syndrome is something I became aware of several years ago after learning of an extreme case. While every incident isn’t as intense the situation I am referring to, there are elements of Parental Alienation that permeate many relationships.
The psychological community is somewhat split on using the word “syndrome”. However, without a doubt, Parental Alienation is very real regardless of any word that is attached to the end of the term.
Unintentional?
I feel that many parents unintentionally exhibit some of the behaviors associated with this phenomenon. Others know exactly what they are doing and why they are doing it. Whether by accident or by design, the fallout is devastating.
Relationships are very complex. There is no “one size fits all” solution or practice that will unlock the secrets of the human condition. When it comes to parenting, and the shared roles and responsibilities, it can be even more challenging.
Not About Extremes
Every situation is different. If someone is violent, or an otherwise dangerous dirtbag or waste of oxygen, then I completely understand that shielding children from these horrors is valid. It’s also impossible to find a kind word for some of the twisted demented things we read about in the newspapers.
Extremes are too often used to shut down open dialogue. Extremes are the crutch we use to choke out anything remotely thought provoking. So I’m addressing the “normal world” where we all live. The world where we are all capable of greatness and failure. We build what we destroy. We destroy what we build.
Carry Our Own Baggage
We all carry our own baggage. Many times, our life choices require us to carry other people’s baggage. Unfortunately, parents often handover baggage for our children to hold. Perhaps our kids shouldn’t have a hand on some of the suitcases we gave them.
Parental Alienation
The Social Work Today website offers some insight into Parental Alienation behaviors. (Social Work Today Parental Alienation Syndrome) Of course there are many other resources as well. You might find something enlightening that you hadn’t considered. If you find an “uh oh” on the list, then you have the power to change course.
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